Asking couple about when they are having kids can be a tricky question. Though, people ask it with good intentions, it could be a tough one for people at the receiving end.
One mother from Melbourne, Australia, decided that it was enough and decided to do something about it.
Adele, who runs The Real Mumma blog, shared her own experience:
“We are just enjoying being newly married’
“We have some travelling we want to do first”
“I’m just focusing on my career right now …”
“These are just a few of the reasons I used (with a forced smile) to mask what was really going on.”
What people didn’t realise was, that Adele and her husband were “battling fertility challenges” at the time.
On one occasion, she decided to answer with bitter truth.
“One day I responded with ‘it’s not that fu**ing easy, you know’. I had just got my period that morning… again.”
“The odds of conception and retaining a pregnancy are actually pretty sh*t, topped off with the huge amount of people that are reproductivity challenged with polycystic ovaries, endometriosis etc. And I was one of them.”
“When you are having difficulty conceiving, it seems everyone around you is falling pregnant. It’s easy to be happy for them at first but that brave face wears thin after a while. I even started to decline going to certain get togethers and attending baby birthdays were just painful. I became quite bitter, desperate and depressed.”
Although, she had babies later, she realizes the difficulties of such people and has asked people to stop asking such questions.
“Many couples will be trying for years. And some may never succeed and my heart goes out to them. And what about the couple that doesn’t want kids? Or the couple that had a child but can’t afford to have another? Or those that have lost little ones?”
“Next time you go to say that ‘throw away’ comment to the newlyweds or the couple that have been together for ten years, be sensitive. Don’t ask them when they are having kids. You never know what’s going on.”
Her posts received a lot of positive feedbacks from people and some even shared their own experiences.
One person wrote: “About three days after I started miscarrying, I was asked ‘when are you going to hurry up and have kids, you can’t wait forever, you don’t want to be too much older;.”
Another one commented: “So thankful for those of you who are mindful of people like myself who find it difficult to conceive/stay pregnant. It makes life a little easier not having to explain all the time and answer the dreaded question.”